Clean Jokes

A man is walking through the desert, completely exhausted and thirsty. He sees a well in the distance and shouts:
“Water, water!”

Suddenly, a voice from the well responds:
“Where, where?”

There were two people robbing an apartment.

The first one said, “I hear the owner coming! Quick, jump out the window!”

The second one said, “Are you crazy? We’re on the thirteenth floor!”

The first one said, “This is no time to be superstitious!”

Q: Why do ducks have feathers? 🦆
A: To cover their butt quacks! 🍑

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Why did the snowflake apply for a job? It heard they were hiring “cool” people!

Why does bread hate hot weather?

It makes them feel too toasty!

Why don’t we trust the ocean?

It’s too full of secrets!

Why did the egg go to school?

To get egg-ucated!

Why did the lemon stop rolling down the hill?

It ran out of juice!

Why didn’t the sun go to college?

Because it already had a million degrees!

Why did the clock go to school?

It needed to work on its “ticks”!

Why did the baker go to therapy?

Because he kneaded it!