Earth is 4.5 billion years old, and suddenly decides it needs a makeover. So it goes to Saturn, bragging, “Check out my new species—they build skyscrapers, launch rockets, and invented Wi-Fi!” Saturn rolls its rings and says, “Yeah, impressive… but didn’t they also invent plastic bags and reality TV?”
Q: Why do Earth and the other planets in our solar system never get along?
A: Because they need space!
Q: Why was the Earth so good in school?
A: It always had its geography on point!
Q: What kind of plant rules the garden?
A: The flower of the land!
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda-pressing!
Q: How do trees go online?
A: They log in!
Q: Why did the tree go to the bank?
A: To start its own branch!
