Veterans Day Jokes

Mr. George beats ten armies while in his dream. Alas! He saw them on the street the following morning; they recognized him and give him a thorough beating of his life.

“Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?”
I smiled and said, “Our captain charge $30 per bullet missing the targets (enemy) perhaps I only managed to save $30 this year”

In a middle of a movie, Vincent asked Felix why the sailors can’t play cards. I answered, “Their captain was sitting on the deck”.

Because Dave’s late Uncle is a soldier, so he dreamt to be a soldier. This annoys Dave’s dad and made him ask Dave, “Imagine you are in a camp surrounded by enemies and you are sleeping with C4 (bombs) around you, what will you do?”

Dave answered and said, “I will stop imagining instantly”.

My Dad, who was a retired soldier, asks me, “What compliment did you think were given to soldiers with excellent performance?”

I could remember vividly we have A1, B2, B3, C4, C5, C6, D7, F9 while in school but they only got to have only C4 in the military so I answered and said, “C4”.

An Army officer who always took a bribe and got dismissed yesterday was asked to say what ARMY stands for. But to everyone’s surprise, this man said, “Air(Force) Rejected Me Yesterday”.

A new soldier joining the troops today stopped the propeller halfway thinking it causes the cool breeze which is too much for everyone.

John’s Father brought home new soldiers but they can’t fight, why? “They were all toy soldiers”

My uncle won’t be happy when it is next month but my friend didn’t understand me so I said, “All troops hate it as well because it will be March”.

A General asks his comrades “how many guns do you need for a gunfight?”

“Two”, comrades replied.

“Why two?” the general asked. “One gun for us to shoot at enemies and another gun for our enemy to shoot back at us”